Lady Whistledown’s Society Tabs

Want more Bean Dad? Of course you do, pervert. Ryan Broderick called it "Twitter's final form," a total context collapse creating a hyperdense neutron star of vicious bored insanity. Dan Sheehan asked "Is anyone else fucking exhausted?" Buddy, my knuckle tats read: |E|X|H|A| |U|S|T|E|D| (don't ask). MBMBaM released their first post-Bean Dad episode with an absolutely glorious new theme song. Kyle Tobener attempted to reënact Bean Dad and got ruined. Then this morning, Bean Dad himself issued an apology, and that will certainly be the end of things, I am sure from my many years of experience online.

Things Come Back: The KLF is back with a collection of singles on streaming for the first time ever, and more coming soon. If that's all you need to know, go find them on Spotify or Apple Music or wherever streams flow inexorably to the sea. If you don’t know: The KLF were an anti-music-industry performance art / prank duo that existed roughly from 1987 to 1992 and have reappeared sporadically since. They wrote a book about how to have a number one hit, burned a million pounds in cash, fake machine-gunned the audience (it was a different time, kids) at the 1992 Brit awards and dumped a dead sheep on the steps of the after show party, and also somehow released a pile of absolutely massive club bangers like "3AM Eternal" and "What Time is Love?," which were lyrically built around Discordianism and chaos magic. They are currently building "a monument, the People's Pyramid, out of bricks made from the remains of dead people." Welcome to 2021!

We Got Jobs: Bloomberg is looking for overseas summer news interns, if you’re thinking about getting out of the plague-hole. The Atlantic is looking for a fact-checker. Wirecutter's Annemarie Conte is hiring a trends editor. And NY Mag's The Cut is no longer looking for an EIC because they just hired Lindsay Peoples Wagner to do it.

Ok, I put in some job listings for free today but starting soon, Today in Tabs will offer four classified ad slots in our Wednesday newsletter. The ads will also run in the media newsletters Study Hall and Deez Links, reaching a grand total of 38,000 obsessive subscribers. Promote your own newsletter, launch a podcast, or advertise a job listing with Media Classifieds™.

The Centrxl Intelligence Theygency got a website rebrand and it is, tbh, hot. I do like this earlier draft, though. Bridgerton is a show about newsletters. Ernest Pettie says that Liminal Spaces are the most 2020 trend, but I can see both sides of that. Handel is a procedural programming language for writing songs in the browser. 

We Regret The Error:

• Yesterday's song was Nirvana covering The Vaselines.

• The Discourse header yesterday was by Senior Tabs Graphics Intern Alison Headley, who also returns today with her signature feature, the Take Tree.

• Turns out if you fill an airship with hydrogen, it's basically a giant flying bomb. My bad, ya'll, won't happen again.

Today’s Song: Open Mike Eagle, “For DOOM.” Rest in power, MF DOOM.

~ Got to teach and everything you learn will point to the fact that tabs is eternal ~

Today in Tabs would like to know if anyone else ever thinks about how we make a living by pressing buttons in a certain precise order. If you do, find me @fka_tabs and @TodayinTabs. If you like it, hype it: