Cretaceous Booty

Live Science Associate Editor Laura Geggel wrote the post of a lifetime yesterday: “1st preserved dinosaur butthole is 'perfect' and 'unique,' paleontologist says.” The title is a masterpiece of understatement, confident that nothing beyond the phrase “dinosaur butthole” is necessary to sell this story. The URL? A model of economy:

But now we need a subhead. It has to be snappy, but draw you in beyond the obvious. What have you got Laura?

DAMN! Ok. I’m already fully on board. But then they drop the art:

Three points here:

1. What grabs you first is the reaction dinosaur’s expression. “That is a magnificent butthole!” it says. Quick, how would you draw a dinosaur so its facial expression conveys sincere admiration for another dinosaur’s butthole? Not so easy, is it!

2. It is, in fact, a magnificent butthole. There’s some kind of disk, and I don’t know what all is going on here. I can’t wait to learn more.

3. Don’t overlook the “Worldstar video cropped for local TV news” blurry-background aspect ratio thing going on. This is some cinema verité presentation and I love it.

At this point, I could not possibly be more engaged and I haven’t read a single word of the story yet. Hit us with that opening line Laura:

Flawless. If you don’t read the rest of the story at this point, there is nothing I can do for you. It’s very good and scientifically informative, but also a model of how to take an absolute gift from the content gods and package it correctly.

Nothing Really Matters: In the NY Times Magazine Kyle Chayka finally landed the feature he’s been working on for over a year, and possibly for his whole life, about the American Nothingness Industry. Clear drinks, smooth brains, can’t lose.

Olivia Nuzzi says the pillow guy’s pillows really suck. He’s getting dropped from major retailers and will likely be sued into a smoking crater by Dominion Voting Systems but on the other hand: lol.

Stacks on Stacks: Morgan Page is excellent on the risks of chasing trans “firsts.” Brian Feldman starts with rendered digital sneakers and ends up explaining “a million tris” and “non-fungible tokens” and there couldn’t be a better example of Brian doing the thing he uniquely does. Also I keep forgetting to include it but last week I talked to Mike Lewis on KIRO in Seattle about Twitter and Facebook and the great banning of 2021, if you want to hear what I sound like.

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Artbreeder: what even is this?

Egg invents content marketing, thinks it’s revolutionary.

The new White House Dot Gov dropped.

Congratulations to America, four years ago one man punched a Nazi, and today we all did.

Today’s Song: Queen, “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Nothing really matters…

~ Too late, my tabs have come ~

Yeah I know it’s pretty light today, but listen, we’re all dealing with a lot. Take a deep breath. Smooth out your brain. It’s gonna be ok. If you’re not already a paying subscriber, it’d really make my day if you became one.