Needle in a Tabstack

Everything is a grift

October 14th, 2021

In the good old days (or as we used to call them “the bad times”) everything was a hoax, but now everything is a grift, which is just a hoax that wants your money. And no hoax wants your money more than Amazon, whether in India where Aditya Kalra and Steve Stecklow from Reuters found it systematically copying top selling products and gaming search results to favor its own brands, or in the United States where Adrianne Jeffries and Leon Yin from The Markup found it systematically copying top selling products and gaming search results to favor its own brands. Yin and Jeffries also analyzed what happens when you click “buy” on a product that Amazon and third party sellers compete to sell, and the answer might surprise you! If you are an idiot, because of course what happens is Amazon takes that sale for itself nearly every time.

But Amazon is only the griftiest fish in a big, filthy sea. Yesterday the Federal Trade Commission warned 700 other companies that using “fake reviews and other misleading endorsements” is on the big list of Federal No-Nos. Maybe you thought Alden Capital was vile when it gutted The Chicago Tribune like a mob takeover, but McKay Coppins discovered it’s even worse than you thought. Here’s CNN selling an NFT of its coverage of the AIDS quilt. And what’s up with Gryften Sinema?

Some Democrats also feel that Sinema increasingly favors corporate interests these days, with some pointing to her reluctance to back a measure to lower prescription drugs through Medicare.

One D.C. lobbyist told The Daily Beast that on K Street, Sinema is often thought of as something of an enigma. But the lobbyist added a qualifier: “If you’re a Republican downtown,” they said, “you think she’s the greatest person ever.”

I’m sure this is unrelated to our grift-based economy but it seems like everyone who hasn’t already quit their job is either on strike (John Deere, Kellogg), getting ready to strike (IATSE, Kaiser Permanente), or preparing a walkout (Netflix). You might expect fire-breathing labor coverage from the likes of HamNo, but please make some room for the unexpected Wobblies at Good Morning America:

Nicholas Kristof his job at the Times and Kriston his run for Oregon governor. “Stand by for news about me starting a Substack newsletter...” tweeted Sam Ro. I wonder what the news is! “There’s actually a podcast focused on you, called Mr. Difficult.” 🙄 The Waymos are gathering on a dead-end street in San Francisco. I’m sure it’s fine. In Forward Talya Zax produced the rare Sally Rooney take that is both correct and actually bothers to engage with her books. Tonight at The Guardian: Sophisticated Faeces, w/opener Swedish Plywood, doors @ 7. Cat Person: the movie. Did you ever think about death? Tom Scocca has.

I tried all morning but couldn’t come up with a worse title for this movie. For the full experience, watch the trailer and let it land the way the dark lord Satan intended:

Today’s Song: Guitar Fight From Fooly Cooly, “4th Gen”

~ you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it tabs ~

Today in Tabs is registered at the post office as “an insult to authors.” I tweet as a human (more or less) @fka_tabs and as a brand (roughly) @TodayinTabs. Do you realize there have been more waves of emo than of waves of ska? Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up and subscribe so you can join us in the open thread tomorrow. Here’s everything you need to make a soundboard of William Shatner having sex. Sorry. Im sorry. Im trying to remove it

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