The Twitter Files Dossier Vault

It's the scandal of the century so let's get into it

December 7th, 2022

Can you believe all this news about The Twitter Files? When I say I am aghast, that barely begins to cover it. Be assured, I have a lot to say about this scandal, but first let’s just set the vibe with this classic Sleigh Bells song:

The Twitter Files though! Is this “good night” for the anti-free speech wing of the deep-state conspiracy to repeal the First Amendment? Good night… that reminds me of Low’s song “Lullaby,” from their 1994 debut album, “I Could Live in Hope.”

In fact Luke O’Neil just ran a good memorial post from Brad Searles about the late Mimi Parker and his own life as a Low fan. I’m a pretty recent Low convert myself, but how many bands have started that strong and then gotten consistently better for nearly 30 years? I mean listen to this, from 2021’s “HEY WHAT:”

What were we talking about? Oh yeah, the Twitter Files… It’s funny though, thinking back, that I didn’t run into Low or really “slowcore” as a genre until now? I was a huge Slint fan, and there’s an obvious family resemblance between Low’s work and an album like “Tweez,” despite the latter being a little grimier and less “produced” feeling.

And I’ve been into The Raveonettes forever, who are more upbeat but still have that huge fuzzed-out guitar sound.

It’s like I’ve been gradually triangulating my way into slowcore fandom since college. You know what else is wild? When I ask Spotify who else is like Low, one of the first songs it suggests is Mazzy Star’s “Fade Into You.” Does that make any sense?

Yeah I guess I can see it. 1993 Hope Sandoval would be the biggest star in the world if she showed up today. Talk about being thirty years ahead of the vibe? She’d blow up on TikTok, make a billion dollars, and be a burned-out recluse within 8 months.

Wow look at that! We’re out of time already. I didn’t think I had that much to say about the Twitter Files! One last good tab today was Owen Long in Curbed: “Secrets of the Christmas Tree Trade.”

Fatigue can be dangerous. Someone can drop a 15-footer off a truck onto your toes; a chain saw can kick back and hit you in the face; before my time, a man had a psychotic episode and tried to slice his way inside the trailer with a box cutter and the guys had to barricade the door. One day, I woke from a nap and found a loaded handgun lying on the ornaments table, pointing at the sidewalk, where mothers were pushing strollers. None of the customers had noticed.

Panicking, I covered the gun with stuffed snowmen and roped the area off with red ribbon. When the police arrived, an officer picked up the gun with two fingers and requested a box. I asked how big.

“Oh, gun-sized,” he said.

Today’s Song: Broadcast, “Corporeal” (via @fins in the Discord)

 ~ I want to hold the tab inside you ~

Special thanks today to college radio, the 1990s, and the indisputable dumbest attempt at discourse in living memory. Remember, even when it seems like you have to write about something as stupid as “The Twitter Files,” you can always quit.

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