Chill lofi Berns To Relax/Study To

Well, we inaugurated Joe Biden and like any difficult birth it wasn’t peaceful and there was a lot of blood and screaming but at least the patient is resting comfortably for the moment. Who’s in and who’s out? OUT: Cursed Trump images. IN: Ella Emhoff’s eyebrows. OUT: the Diet Coke button. IN: The New Radicals. OUT: Michael Pack (VOA doesn’t stand for Villains of America, Mike). IN: White House press conferences. OUT: Ajit Pai and his big dumb mug. IN: Cesar Chavez. IN? OUT? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: The Space Force. OUT: anti-labor NLRB lawyer Peter Robb, violent racist Joe Biggs, the Wall. IN: Janet Yellen.

Bernie sat in a folding chair wearing his Northern New England craft-fair mittens and Twitter felt some kind of way about things in general, and these streams flowed together to create a good old fashioned fun meme, leaving us with gems like Professor B, Merchie Sanders, Planes, Trains, and Bernie, Bernie Gump, 2001: A Socialist Odyssey, Nighthawks*, Bernie Roy, Sandersed Away, Jersey Sanders, Berny’s, Too obscure for me, sorry, Golden Berns, Iron Sanders, Sandersme Street, Chill lofi Berns to Relax / Study To, Metabernie, Sanders and Waldorf, Sanders Days (EP), Sex and the Bernie, and Vanity Chair. Poor Daniel Victor had to make this into a NYT article somehow, and if you need a meaning, Miles Klee is here to overinterpret it for you.

The last few years have been bad, but at least they’ve mackled a lot less. Yesterday mackled more than anyone expected, when the thrifty rapper dropped a new and “extremely” “improvised” “freestyle” about Donald Trump, just minutes after everyone agreed never to talk about Donald Trump again. I’ll give him this though, he identified the real villain:

Overall it was a weirdly nice day on the internet, and what good internet day would be complete without a little Amanda Fucking Palmer?

You did it, Amanda.

What happened to QAnon when their storm didn’t arrive? “Mods please explain why Biden isn’t arrested yet” gave way to Ron Watkins’s “the real Q was the friends we made along the way.” Reply All can tell you who Ron Watkins is, if you don’t know. Flammenwerfer is out. Kevin Roose tracked the Telegram threads and found that “some believers struggled to harmonize the falsehoods with the inauguration on their TVs.” Again, credit to Roose and Daniel Victor and Taylor Lorenz and anyone else whose job is to cram online culture into Times Voice. It couldn’t be me. Anna Merlan points out that this is still a very dangerous moment. Grifting continued from the usual suspects, of course. The Proud Boys are not so proud now. And finally, a mod on 8kun deleted the whole /qresearch/ board, leaving a long, angry (and offensive but only in the normal way everything in chan culture is offensive) explanation. The board was restored, but it remains to be seen what form the Tetsuo of conspiracy theories will morph into next. Nathan Munn wrote about what happened afterward for at least one fascist, in Popula. One thing you can count on, says Lyz Lenz: “the era of white grievance isn’t over.”

Naver is buying Wattpad I guess? If that was just random words to you, probably forget about it. If someone offers you the Covid vaccine, take it, come on now. Kalidoface murders my browser but it looks pretty cool. Someone pulled all the faces from the Parler Capitol riot videos which is… unsettling? Here are some stacks to sub. A fun Glitch to make your own blackout poetry.

Today’s Song: Madlib, “Hopprock” (via Hua Hsu)

~ Mods please explain why Tabs isn’t arrested yet ~

Today’s whole post is brought to you by Madlib really, which I was listening to the whole time. I write Monday through Thursday. I tweet too much. I love ice cream. If you enjoyed this, buy me some ice cream. See you Monday!

* I truly cannot come up with a Bernie Sanders related pun for “Nighthawks,” I welcome your suggestions.